Some random thoughts as I've traveled three times in about six weeks-
"You're from Vermont? That's a state, right?" This from a 16-17year old seat mate on my way back from Key West-reminded me of another geographically challenged traveler I came across years ago who had a similar statement of "Vermont? what state's
that in?" Yikes-reminds me of the folks Leno finds for his "Jaywalking" bit. I know Vermont is a small state. A minor state in the grand scheme. An unimportant state even. But
really? You don't recognize one of the fifty states when you hear it?
Highway billboards with words that simply don't belong together-
GOURMET BUFFET - has
anyone ever experienced gourmet food...at a
buffet? Here is where I'd like to make a snarky remark about folks from Arkansas or some other backwater state and how maybe they would think gourmet food could be had in a buffet line-but being from Vermont...well...I'll just have to include us in the joke and say that many from Arkansas, Vermont and other places have surely found what they
thought was gourmet food in a buffet line. And let's remember this is on a billboard sign
on the highway!
Fine Mexican Cuisine - Ummmm.... I love Mexican food, I mean I really love Mexican food, almost all of it (frequently all at one sitting, with a few margaritas to wash it down) but even really
good Mexican food cannot be called "Fine"- it's just not that kind of food, plain and simple. And "Cuisine"? well using a French word to describe Mexican food, just
feels wrong. And, again, two words- billboard, highway. Nuff said.
Public bathroom notes:
-"Air Blades" spiffy and effective, motion activated hand dryers (from Dyson-the makers of overpriced ineffective vacuums). These things are fast and effective air dryers where you insert your hands down and between two turbo/jet powered streams of air (the air blades I guess)-no towels, no drip down your arm as you put your hands up and under, like most conventional air dryers, very effective as I mentioned, plus they're just cool...
-saw lots more hands free, motion activated everything in the public johns-toilets, urinals, faucets, soap dispensers, and hand dryers. Now the last thing they need to include is a motion activated door so the entire bathroom experience can be hands, mess, and germ free.
-used/saw the coolest urinal ever, yes, you read that correctly. This thing was almost like a work of art, sculptural even. A simple ovoid bowl, protruding at an angle from the wall. Not only was it hands free, it was water free-no plumbing fixture, no electronic eye even. Not sure exactly how that part works, being water free, but it worked.....no pee, no puddle, no smell.
-no, I'm not a bathroom freak, or a germophobe but you notice these things when you're on the road.
Another thing I noticed, mostly along the highways, was that there were lots of smelly very dirty bathrooms, and it struck me that once a public bathroom gets a bit funky, it tends to rapidly snowball, soon getting exponentially worse. I guess that it's because they are distant and we're anonymous so no one really cares. I think people figure, shit, it's already dirty so why bother trying to be neat or clean. And forget about cleaning up after yourself-most people are too scared of getting germy just from the cleanup!
On the highway I was struck by the consumerism in our country, literally getting slapped in the face again and again by strip malls and box store parks, giant shrines built so we can worship at the altar of the almighty dollar. Hardware, sporting goods, office supplies,cars, drugs, bed bath and waaay beyond-these massive stores on steroids, mile after mile after mile.
Another mile, another Home Depot.
Another mile, another Staples.
Another mile, another Bally total Fitness.
Another mile, another strip mall barfed up between exit ramps.
And then, there it was....breathe deep.....ahhhh smell that?
That's New Jersey! Yes after traffic, grit, construction, depression, and the GW bridge there lies the swampland of New Jersey. Lovely Newark Airport, a farm of refinery tanks and billowing smokestacks and "Go! Central New Jersey" billboards and then the Thomas Edison
service area on
I-95! What would
he think of all this? And would he have shared the light bulb with the world if he knew it would lead us here; concrete barrier walls fifteen feet tall, protecting the crap on one side from the crap on the other?
Perth Amboy dead ahead!
Peace to the Planet...
