Movin' on

  As much as I wish I never had to see the ex again, we are unfortunately linked for life by virtue of our children ( the lifelong link being unfortunate, not the children).  So like it or not we will be co-parenting through the high school and college years, and even after that we will be sharing our childrens' marriages and grandchildren.  When I first started to realize this, it was a bit daunting.  I am more of a clean break, all or none, and out of sight out of mind type of person.  None of which would describe my current and future relationship with my ex.
  But I must be moving on a bit (time, acceptance, perspective etc.)  because not only does our continued interaction not bother me, but other stuff big and small doesn't quite throw me into a tailspin the way it might have  a year ago or even six months ago.
  Two examples.
  First is the recent passing of our anniversary,  which I totally forgot about until late in the day when someone asked me the date and I had to think about it.  And I never forgot our anniversary when we were together.  We always celebrated in some way at least a nice dinner out, and some of the more notable ones marked with a return to our wedding location for a romantic weekend or a diamond ring.  It was a big deal to me and to us.
  Last year I was pretty disturbed when our anniversary rolled around and it was made worse when Hex was in town with the ex.  So I was somewhat happy with and for myself this year when it was I was completely unaffected by it.  ( big pat on the back for me, yayyy!)
  The second and more notable event that let me know I had moved on a bit more was the recent news that the ex and Hex are going to get married.  While I was caught off guard at the news I was hardly surprised (planned for next year I wouldn't be surprised if they are already hitched and next year is just for show/family).
  It was actually kind of funny.  She had just returned from Hex's Texas and was picking up our youngest son.
"I've got something to tell you" she told me solemnly.  I thought someone had died.  My immediate response? "Wow!" and then a few awkward chuckles.  I asked how they were going to handle it (as far as logistics, moving etc) and she told me that she couldn't move.  Yes you can, I told her.  Not unless I had change my mind about custody of the kids, she said.  Uh. no. So they would continue their long distance relationship indefinitely. Once again I will note that it would have been nice if she had put as much effort into our relationship of nineteen years (or at least the crisis at the end)  as she must need to maintain this relationship and soon to be marriage to Hex.
  I will admit that for the rest of that evening I may have been in a bit of shock., but it was short lived and certainly not the quagmire of bitterness and angst that I might have experienced even a short while ago.
 Not totally unrelated, I have actually had a few dates over the summer and that has helped in the moving on process as well.  Where will it go from here?  Who knows?  But even though I'm simply looking for companionship and friendship ( with or without benefits) and not a full blown relationship, this is another sure sign that I am now a little further along the road in this whole recovery process than even I had realized.

Peace to the Planet....