The ex's Hex from Texas

   I've always been a sucker for good (or any) alliteration*, and this phrase kept coming to mind this weekend.

  As previously noted, my ex is much further along in the process of moving forward than I am.  As in- she had a boyfriend (the Hex from Texas-let's just call him Hex) before I had moved out of the house she and I shared.  Painful. (By the way, it's true, everything IS  bigger in Texas-even assholes as it turns out!) So in the meantime I've been dealing with the shock, jealousy and pain of this and the subsequent divorce.  A year later now,  I feel like I may be starting to get my feet under me, although a little wobbly still.  In other words it doesn't take much to knock me down, emotionally speaking.
 
  So why was this alliterative  phrase coming to mind this weekend?  Well, because Hex came for the weekend. The ex and Hex have been maintaining a long distance relationship for (at least)  the past year. This must take a lot of work, I think to myself, if only she had worked this hard on our relationship!   (Irony and alliteration in one post-stay tuned folks!)  No, this is not the ex's and the Hex's first visit-she's been to Texas several times and he's been here several times as well-including enjoying Thanksgiving dinner here, in my old home, with my old wife, AND with MY KIDS!  More pain!. (I have much to be thankful for but this was a particularly trying Thanksgiving for me.)  Like salt in the wound, you know? (Oooh-now we've got a simile and a cliche in one sentence!)  But it is always worse when he visits here-it's in my face, on my turf (this is the town I grew up in), in my old home, in my old bed etc.  The last time Hex showed up, the ex actually asked if she could take the kids (during my time with them) so that they could have some (bonding!) time with Hex. (Yup-she's got a pair-eh?)


  I'll give the ex credit- at least she let me know Hex was going to be around, showing me much appreciated consideration (sarcasm? check!). Seriously, at least I was prepared (by that I mean obsessively overwrought with anguish) so that when I went to pick up the kids for the weekend I wouldn't be caught off guard by my first face to face with Hex.
 
 What I wasn't prepared for was more salt in the wound coming from my six year old son (unintentional, of course-he's blissfully self centered [age appropriate-I like to think] and unaware of much about the divorce other than Mom and Dad now live apart.)  I'm pretty sure my son loves me (insecure sarcasm? check!) but he is definitely a Mama's boy, always was.  So naturally, when leaving for his time with me,  this makes saying goodbye to Mom hard (on all three of us).  He's fine when the transition is a pick up at school.  He loves his time with me and certainly doesn't spend it pining for Mom or even asking to call etc.  But it's definitely, and infinitely more difficult when I have to take him from her, and even worse still when this happens at her place (the only home he's ever known until I got my apartment).  So I was prepared for some of the usual difficulties when this situation arose this weekend.  And I was prepared for the uncomfortable nature of the Hex's mere presence.  But, what I was not prepared for was my son begging to stay with Mom so he could be with Hex!  OUCH!  This was a different kind of pain, a different kind of jealousy.  Damn, the ego does take a beating....

  Luckily I had a secret weapon-Dunkin' Donuts! (as I said, I was prepared for the usual stuff-thankfully it worked for the unexpected stuff also)  Yes, the lure of  Dunkin' Donuts (America runs on Dunkin'....it's true!) did the trick, we left without tears from him and without further embarrassment and ego bruising for me.  Not only did the donuts smooth the transition for my son, but they had the unexpected and  pleasant benefit of being a  bit of salve to my own, lightly salted, wounds. (Pun? not exactly, but I tried...a play between two cliches maybe?)

As the great philosopher, Homer, once said "Mmmmmm, donuts!"
(There we go! Pun? Check!)

So while not quite having it all, this post did have a heaping helping, including; alliteration, irony, simile (no metaphor-dang it!) cliche, sarcasm, puns and even a moral (be prepared!)  Now if I could only figure out how to get the e in cliche to have the proper accent (acute, not grave, I believe, although I always thought my French teacher Mme. Marquis was said it with a "G" like accent a-goo. Now thinking I should change the name of the  blog to "Wild Tangents"-just a thought....(would also make a great name for a band!)

Peace to the Planet....


*I'm going with this definition of alliteration-thank you dictionary.com
the commencement of two or more stressed syllables of a word group either with the same consonant sound or soundgroup (consonantal alliteration)