When I was a preteen kid I remember looking forward to growing up (you know-all grown up, like 17 or 18) and everything it had to offer-a driver's license, dating, a part-time job (for money-not work, I was young not stupid), voting, college, etc. Being a child of the macho man 70's and early 80's I also hoped and aspired to a chest and face full of hair.
So I was truly pleased, a few years later, when a few meager hairs sprouted on my scrawny chest, and the light fuzz on my lip grew into heavy fuzz. My chin grew a few stray looking whiskers that were so embarrassing they demanded a weekly (weakly?) shave, so I did, but my sideburns filled in nicely and demanded to be rocked, so I did (70's-80's remember?). I had high hopes, and reasonably so, my Dad had a pretty hairy chest and had always sported a full beard- rivaled only by my Grandmother's 'stache.
Clearly facial and body hair was in the family genes. Had I paid closer attention I might have also noticed that it was also in the family ears and noses (and on backs). Sadly the hirsute gene, as is quite common, was accompanied by the baldness gene, a cruel and ironic twist.
By my early twenties I could and did grow a nice full beard....just as my hairline started to recede. By thirty I was resigned to a bald (present and) future. I truly am fine with being bald. Would I like a full head of hair? Sure. Would I undergo surgery to have hair transplants that look like tansplants? No. Would I spend lots of money indefinitely and take medication indefinitely in an attempt to re-grow hair? No. Would I spend a lot of money once to take one dose of medication or form of treatment? Hmmmm...maybe. But as I said, I am resigned to baldness. Hell, some women even find it attractive, to the point that it has even became a trend for guys with hair to shave it all off! (Thank you Michael Jordan).
Being OK with losing your hair is one thing, having it reappear in other, unexpected, places is another thing altogether. Seriously, I wanted hair on my chest, not on my back!
I wanted hair, I got hair... coming out my ears, literally. And on my ears. And in my nose. And on my nose. Yes, now I find myself trimming or shaving hair in the strangest of places-be careful what you wish for kids. Which brings me back to another pre-teen memory of looking through a mail order catalog containing something called a battery operated nose hair trimmer and thinking "What the??? why would anyone ever need to trim inside their nose?".... Now I am left thinking "Where is that Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog?"
Dude, I thought I posted something the other night, but I don't see it. I must have not hit "post comment". Any-hoo, you're not the only one. I have two nose hair trimmers in my "special drawer" in the medicine closet. Two because one is worn down and the other . . . actually is due for replacement. I'm kind of jealous, though. I have always dreamed of growing a beard or mustache, and have never been able to do so. After a month, I look like a hobo, and people start asking me "Has everything been okay lately?" It's more like scraggly whiskers like the people we used to see at the Dead shows. (us included on that) I think baldness is actually a sign of advanced evolution, myself. I think the reason why you are so hairy on your face and body is because you are an outdoor winter person. Need to stay warm, you know. I think the more man moves along here, the less we have to rely on hair for warmth, and the further it fades away.
ReplyDeleteBaldness is also a known sign of high testosterone levels-solar sex panel indeed...
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