It just dawned on me that what may help give Adele that perspective is her youth. I am often guilty of feeling sorry for myself but I think most would agree that it is probably easier to be able to look forward to starting over in your twenties than in your forties (suddenly I'm one of those people with "baggage"). But maybe not. It would also seem easier (not easy) to move on after a relationship of five or ten years than one of twenty or thirty years. Again, maybe not, maybe it's just me. I truly wish I could be one of those people who wants "nothing but the best for you" as Adele sings, for their ex, but I'm just not there. Not yet anyway. Not that I want bad things for the ex (though, admittedly there have been "fantasies" but that's all they are, fantasies). What I am is one of those people who simply wish that she felt the depth of pain and misery that I do (Adele's line-"I had hoped you'd see my face and be reminded that for me it isn't over"). I know it hasn't been easy for her either and she has had her share of pain, but the ex appears to have had a much easier time moving on. Makes me wonder. Not too great for the ol' ego when you're that easy to get over.
But here's the thing, and it's what I really connect with in "Someone Like You", the ex has already settled into a very serious relationship and I am still alone (not that I want a relationship {yet} for myself, definitely not there yet either). How can I feel happy about that? "Guess she gives you things I didn't give to you" Adele sings, leaving me to think that I could have and should have done more in my marriage. But it also makes me think- how was I suppose to fulfill needs the ex not only didn't communicate to me but didn't even realize (she now admits) that she had?
"Never mind, I'll find someone like you"-that's right Adele, and if I'm lucky I'll find someone even better, or better for me anyway. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste...had enough of the bitter, getting closer to the sweet.
Damn. Made it all the way through (sniff, sniff). But with her pipes and singing with such emotion, who doesn't feel the heartbreak? I used to be big on avoidance, emotions or otherwise, but I've realized that it's sometimes OK, and often beneficial to let myself really feel the pain, letting it wash over me. It's better (and easier) than holding it in or holding on to it indefinitely.
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.... indeed....
Peace to the Planet....
I love this.
ReplyDeleteComing from someone who hasn't even hit her twenties yet, I can say that it is pretty easy to look forward, since nothing major has happened in my life recently. My last breakup was a year ago and it did devastate me, and in retrospect, it still hurts, but I really shouldn't have made as big of a deal out of it as I did. But at that time, my limited experience in life prevented me from taking it easily.
But what I do know, even at my age, is that time heals all wounds.
Thanks Marina-I think you have a great perspective no matter your age-perspective I wish I had when I was your age. Love lost is love lost no matter your age. And a broken heart is painful no matter how long the relationship lasted. I didn't mean to minimize anyone else's pain or imply that it was easy for others simply because they're young. Like I wrote, maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself thinking that way.
ReplyDeleteKeeper, take this from someone who has been used up and tossed in the gutter. I found my soulmate while I was in the gutter. She came to me and helped me up and out. And while she was helping me, it comes to find out I was helping her to get up and out of her gutter. It's funny who'll you'll find in the bowels of depression and loneliness. I don't think it really mattered if we were 40 something or 20 something. The fact that there were two lonely souls who needed someone was what drew us together. Let that person come to you, don't seek her out. You'll know when you've found her. Don't make it happen, let it happen.
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